THIS IS STILL MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION

So it is official. Bafana Bafana are to get their old coach back.

I cannot believe that the powers that be can do this to our Soccer team.

• Stuff up Number One – getting a coach that cannot speak either English or a local African language.

• Stuff up number two – Getting “three” in a row that are unable to communicate properly.

• stuff up number three – Seriously over paying these coaches.

It has got to the stage where I am convinced that any single genuine South African male or female would be able to do a better job than the last two coaches.

There have been calls to get a long list of local coaches and ex-players involved.

My choice would come out of the obvious list.

Neil Tovey

Trott Moloto

Gordon Ingesund

Lucas Radebe

Clive Barker

Gavin Hunt

Shaun Bartlett

Hell I could go on listing potential candidates for a long time, but I cannot resist putting in my 1c worth.

My favorite would be a toss-up between the most successful coach in our history, who if my memory serves me correctly is Clive Barker or my current favorite Pitso Mosimane.

The saddest thing of all is that these local guys would all probably be happy with a third of the money being paid out to the foreign guys. Now the Brazilian coaches are probably great coaches in their own country but with the communication problem here the fact is that it would always be impossible for any local player to fully respect someone who they keep getting the urge to shout at to make themselves understood.

So I am now going to try my best to not keep on posting snide comments here as the proof starts to come out in the wash.

My prediction is that the public outcry will not go away, and that the knock on effect will not allow the team to perform well in any circumstances. Remember that these players still talk to their own friends and family all the time. When everybody around you is constantly saying that you are going to fail – do you know what – you will fail.

Simple laws of attraction at work.

Finally the surge of embarrassing disasters will cause heads to roll. The best part is that the first heads to roll will be some of the very fools that caused this debacle. In the true tradition of south African thinking we will again put the poor embattled Jomo Sono in charge of out team 9 weeks before the kickoff. He will be the only one with the guts to actually try to take on the impossible task of rescuing our players.

NOW FOR THE IMPORTANT BIT.

Here is the very secret methods that I would personally use to get our guys all the way to the final.

I PROMISE YOU THAT IT REALLY WILL GET THEM TO THE FINAL.

Step one.

Put the 35 best players all in the same training camp from tomorrow.

step two.

I would allow a very relaxed training “fun” time for a few weeks. during this time the players will all have to play constantly mixing it up and allowing natural pairings to occur. There will be a constant party atmosphere for the first 6 to 10 weeks.

Step three.

Fitness will not only not be allowed to slip – but will actually be stepped up. However with the help of professionals I would devise a new and more exciting way of training. Probably based on music – kinda like a taaibo thing.

Step Four.

I would have let pairings and clusters develop which would give me the basics of two full teams. these teams would now play against each other a lot.

Step five is my secret weapon. It is this method that will allow me to develop a team that would beat some of the biggest teams in the world by 5 goals, because of the surprise factor.

here is how it will work. I will create groups or clusters of players that work well together and not allow them to train with anyone else for a few weeks. These groups will all practice with headphones and a very carefully chosen soundtrack. They would be able to shout or call out to each other above the sound of the music, but this music system wouild be pivotal to the method.

Players will be taught to only pass at specific points in the soundtrack, and equally would break left or right at points that are clear in the song.

After awhile the fellow players in the group will learn that when that exact spot in the tract comes up the will be able to pass far to the other players left safely as that is exactly how it always happens.

Sort of like one big and very elegant dance choreography.

Africa is a country of rhythms and would take to this method of training easily. If you have each group working together very smoothly when they pass on to one of the other groups that group would still be very in tune with each other.

Only out own team will know that the groups almost never pass to another group until they have got to a pre-planned spot on the field.

Now I suspect that we would not be allowed to play with headphones on, or even be allowed to play loud music from the sidelines, but by that stage their rhythm’s will be well entrenched and the other teams will simply just be in the s#@@*

Cool.       

(ok – I am done now – and am not even going to go and check spelling, you can do that )

Roll on 20 ten